Shoot the Rapids 2005

“What makes a river so restful to people is that it doesn’t have any doubt—it is sure to get where it is going, and it doesn’t want to go anywhere else.”

-- Hal Boyle: Help, Help! Another Day!

It’s Friday. It’s February in Michigan. There is a gentle snow falling. It must be time for the Grand Rapids Dart League “Shoot the Rapids 2005” tournament. It appears the theme of this weekend is “Brilliant.” Kind of like the Guinness commercial…

Some “real” work projects kept me from arriving promptly this evening—but it’s all-good, I’m here now. Autumn Bucholtz, server extraordinaire, is tending my needs this evening. My appetite satisfied with a scrumptious chicken Quesadilla, it’s refreshment time and Autumn is on top of that requirement.

The Weakest Link is underway—all ready the excuses are starting. “Luck of the Draw” sign-up is underway for those who have already demonstrated they are “The Weakest Link.”

Greetings abound from distant friends—George Lane and Mario Mendoza from Lansing, Gretchen Meyer from the Windy City, (Peter Citera and Karen Askham will be a little late tonight—now where did I leave that purse?), the Flint/Saginaw crowd, and our southern neighbors from Battle Creek and Kalamazoo…in addition to a respectable turn out from the local crowd. It’s going to be another great weekend.

The “Weakest Link” is now finished and Dave DePriest has claimed the prize. It’s time for the “Luck of the Draw.”

As usual, we heard stories of posterior bruises (and we could attach the photos, but we won’t), good darts, bad darts, the best of excuses, the worst of excuses…and it was only the “Luck of the Draw.” Can’t wait to hear the tall tales when we get to the serious darts…

Some interesting pairings, as usual, brought about some interesting results. We’ve whittled the crowd down to the final pair—and meeting in the finals are Dave DePriest and Keith Gibson versus Jamie Bishop and Todd Bucher. Claiming the first place prize—Dave (again) and Keith.

We are having so much fun—let’s have a “Second Chance” luck of the draw. Chad Fires and Bill DeBlase have made it to the finals to face Jeremy “Butters” Previe and Donovan Anamon. In the final leg, Bill throws the Triple 19, single 10, Double 16 to take the 99 out and win the first place prize for his team.

Marty “The Snail Herder” Huver has declared, “it’s time,” so out the door we go—anxiously awaiting the next opportunity to hoist a frosty beverage and toe the O’che.

Morning has come and the “Honey Dew” list must be tended too, prior to my return to the Westwood—the price of freedom, as I say.

Arriving at the Westwood, the Blind Draw Mixed Triples are underway. More “chores” take me away from the scene and upon my return I find out that Keith Higginbotham, Brenda Ingersoll and George Lane faced Andy Hart, Tom Patterson, and Jeremy “Butters” Previe in the finals. Your Mixed Triples winners—Keith, Brenda and George.

Michelle is tending my needs today, as Autumn has been assigned to “the dungeon” as it is sometimes referred too. It is down stairs and has 17 permanently mounted dartboards, so there is a lot of action going on down there also.

The 501 Doubles are underway—and there is some tough competition out there. Time, darts, and the elusive Double out will determine our winners. On the Men’s side—we have the duo of Dave Rice and Steve Jordon facing off against George Lane and Mario “Main Event” Mendoza. Taking the top prize—Dave and Steve.

For the distaff side—we have the mother/daughter team of Dawn Jones and Shellie Robinson versus Rena Gulledge and Stacy Krzykwa. The Ladies 501 Doubles champions are Dawn and Shellie.

Against my better judgment—and to appease my overly vocal teammates—I have made my obligatory charitable contribution to be summarily humbled in the Men’s Singles Cricket. Time to start priming the pump if I expect to at least make it past the first round. The game is announced—I get Paul Metevier—one of those “almost Yooper” east siders…It was ugly and he wouldn’t even let me make it a 3 game set…wait—I’m supposed to do that part. Damn. Should have played Dartoid, but he’s off in some “wot-u-name—istan” country. Doing what he does—lord knows what that is… So, I’m back to cruising and schmoozing, looking for the story to write. The next round is announced—and whom does Paul get? None other than Monty Jones—the man I abused in Cricket earlier this week. So, who says life is fair. Damn. Monty better get my revenge. Games on and over and now, it is Steve Brown and Keith Schmidt in the finals—best of 5. In clinical fashion, Steve Brown claims the Men’s Single Cricket title. Damn. Have to take his picture again.

On the Women’s side—we have Dawn Jones and Tammy Snow vying for the title. Sounds very familiar…those two names in the finals… The Women’s Single Cricket champion is Tammy.

In an unusual change of pace—we are having a Mixed Doubles rather than a Luck of the Draw. We’ll see how this goes… The competition has dwindled to the final pairs—Tammy Snow and Mario “Main Event” Mendoza versus Dawn Jones and husband, Monty Jones. Claiming the top prize is Tammy and Mario.

Attempting to stake my claim to the Westwood “Snail of the Day” award—Marty and I discuss present and future events…until it is determined that by law—the lights have to be shut off and the doors closed. And the crack of noon will soon be arriving.

As usual, on Sunday, the A.M. arrives too early—but we are up and working on our second cup of java. The “hard core” players are already here—some warming up for the first event of the day—Doubles Cricket, others enjoying the Westwood breakfast buffet. Celeste is tending my needs today, keeping the coffee cup full, for the present anyway… Mother Nature appears to be threatening to share an excessive amount of that white stuff on us today—so; many of the “out of towners” exercise better judgment and forego the matches, hoping to make it home safely before Mother Nature unleashes her fury. Hopefully, all travelers made it safely. We want to see them in October for the Great Lakes Dart Challenge and the National Dart Hall of Fame North Central Region Award Ceremony. Details of these events will be published later on the Grand Rapids Dart League website (www.grdl.org) and the National Dart Hall of Fame website (www.ndhof.org).

The Doubles Cricket matches are underway—and there are some tough teams out there…Playing for the Men’s finals, we have the duo of Steve Brown and Jon Douglas against Mario “Main Event” Mendoza and George Lane. The winners are Steve and Jon. Damn—another picture of Steve.

The Women’s Doubles Cricket finals consist of Betty “Poopsie” Sowter and Tammy “Mama” Snow versus “Sweet Cherry Sue” Cherry and Brenda Ingersoll. Claiming the Women’s title—Betty and Tammy.

The final scheduled event of the day is the 501 Singles. Once again, I am coerced into making my charitable contribution—with identical results. Maybe I should take up macramé. Damn—where is Dartoid when I need him. The Men’s bracket has dwindled to the final pair—you guessed it—Steve Brown versus Keith Schmidt. Sounds like a re-match of the Singles Cricket yesterday. Same players—same results. Once again, time to take the 1^st place picture of Steve.

On the ladies side, Grand Rapids is well represented to the semi-final level with Mary Falk facing Ruth Hall on one side, and “Sweet Cherry Sue” Cherry facing Chicago’s Gretchen “G Money” Meyer. All threw some exceptional darts—however, when the final double was thrown—it would be Ruth Hall and Gretchen “G Money” Meyer meeting in the finals. The 2005 “Shoot the Rapids” Ladies 501 champion is Ruth Hall.

We are having so much fun—there has to be a “Luck of the Draw.” And there is…sweet.

Not that I would attempt to participate the way I have been shooting this weekend. The format selected is “Chicago,” and Windy City contingent loudly announces their approval. During the preliminary round, Chicago’s Karen Askham demonstrated her ultimate ability in the 301 Double in-Double out leg. Her first dart, Double 16, second dart, Triple 19, and the third dart—the Double Trash Can. Bet she couldn’t do that again. Her fellow Windy City darter, Peter Citera attempted to “one up” her by throwing an incredible single floor. Yes, we have the photos to prove it. But, it’s all good—it’s a dart tournament. It came down to Jeremy “Butters” Previe and Casey Jones against Casey’s brother Matt Jones and Matt “the Doorman” VanConant—“Butters” and “Doorman” are my team mates—and once again, the “butters” was slippery—and the mighty Casey struck out…Your Last Chance Luck of the Draw winners were Matt squared (Matt and Matt).

Marty “The Snail Herder” Huver has announced the winner of the “MVS” (Most Valuable Snail). To be considered for this award—you must be like the “Weakest Link”--the “last one out the door” for the night. The daily honors were: Friday—Matt “The Doorman” VanConant; Saturday—none other than your humble reporter; and Sunday—Peter “Pop Star” Citera. The “MVS” for Shoot the Rapids 2005—Matt “The Doorman” VanConant!

So, now we are done. Once again, the Grand Rapids Dart League has put on one “whale” of a tournament. Congratulations and well done to all.

Reporting from the Westwood Ranch, Belmont, Michigan…Bruce Gerber.